


we found each other in the dark

by celaenos



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Critmas Exchange, F/F, Holiday Fic Exchange, One Shot, percy and cass switch places au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 08:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celaenos/pseuds/celaenos
Summary: Vex’ahlia saunters over towards her. Cassandra gets that fluttery feeling inside her gut again, impossibly annoying and highly impractical. She deflects by offering up new inventions for arrows, delighting in the way that Vex’ahlia’s eyes light up. Percival was always more of a tinkerer than Cassandra ever was, but she’s picked up a thing or two over the years, both by necessity and as a means to keep sane.Now, it might come with another reason: Vex’ahlia’s excited smile.





	we found each other in the dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> happy critmas!

Cass doesn’t know what she is doing.

She walks with the group slow, hanging towards the back. Her rapier bounces at her side as they climb over the rocky terrain and up ahead, she hears Vex’ahlia laugh. Bright and loud.

“Hey,” Keyleth says, appearing at her side and grinning. Cass jumps at her presence and tries to brush it off, but Keyleth notices. She always seems to, with Cass. “Sorry,” she says, quick.

“I’m fine,” Cass assures her.

“Are you?” Keyleth asks, easy. Curious and full of nothing but concern. It irks Cass. They all do. She’s been with them a few weeks altogether, tops. Helped them save some kids. Watched Keyleth fall to pieces when she tried, _tried,_ to save that boy, watched Pike—

—and now, after six months of being on her own again… Cass came back here. With them.

She doesn’t know why.

Keyleth and the twins dragged Cassandra out of that jail and brought her along without much question and Cass has done some good but—she made a deal, and she intends to see it through.

“I’m fine,” Cass says, Her mouth twists slightly. It’s nothing like a smile. She hasn’t known how to smile properly in five years, going on six, now. Keyleth’s mouth dips into a frown, but she nods anyway before running up ahead, catching up to Vax’ildan and Pike.

Vex’ahlia turns and catches Cassandra’s eye, she cracks out a wink, easy as breathing, and Cass’s chest stings with something that she presses very far down inside.

…

…

She means to leave. She means to leave many times, but a few weeks turn into a few months which turns into a year.

Cassandra turns twenty, a year older than Percy was when she watched the arrows dig their way into his chest. When Cassandra turned and _ran,_ thirteen and shaking and terrified, surrounded by the blood of her family and the ruins of her home.

Vex’ahlia finds her.

“Happy birthday darling,” she drawls, holding out a cupcake and a smile that drops the minute that she sees the way Cassandra’s shoulders are shaking. The way she’s grasping for every breath, the way that she can’t do anything to stop it. “Cassandra!” Vex’ahlia drops the cupcake, light snuffing out as it hits the dirt, forgotten, and her arms snake around Cass’s shoulders half a beat later. She rubs her arms up and down Cass’s side, whispering reassuring nonsense, not asking what is wrong.

Vex just holds her, nothing more.

Cassandra allows herself a single moment to cling to Vex and then rolls away from her almost violently, insisting that everything is _perfectly fine, I swear it. I was just overcome._

“Bullshit darling,” Vex says, though gently. “If you don’t want to talk about it, then that is perfectly alright, but for the gods’ sake, don’t _lie_ when it’s painfully obvious that you are doing so _._ ”

“I apologize,” Cass says, smoothing down her skirts. She sounds just like Vesper— _gods._ “I don’t like my birthday,” she admits, hoping her voice sounds like her own again. She can at least give Vex’ahlia that much.

“Alright, well then, no harm no foul darling. More cake for me.”

Cass laughs, despite her every instinct. Vex’ahlia bends down and plucks the offending cupcake from the dirt, grimacing at the mess. “You’re not going to eat that, are you?” Cass asks; it comes out teasing, almost.

Vex’ahlia chuckles, swipes at some of the dirt and says, “Dare me?”

“No,” Cass laughs.

“I do!” Vax’ildan calls out, coming into the room with Keyleth and Grog just a step behind. Grog nods vigorously while Keyleth frowns.

Vex’ahlia pops the cupcake into her mouth without pause, eyes beaming down towards Cassandra the entire time.

…

…

Percy… is _alive._

Cassandra doesn’t know how to breathe through this information. She can feel Vex’ahlia’s gaze boring into her back.

She is not the only de Rolo left. Percy is alive and Cassandra _left him._

…

…

Cassandra hears Vax call out _jenga, jenga, jenga, jenga,_ in a panicked hiss and turns and meets Vex’ahlia’s widening, terrified, angry eyes.

That idiot boy is going to get himself killed and Vex’ahlia will be inconsolable. Cassandra isn’t going to allow another family to be broken apart inside her old home. She draws her rapier and runs, Vox Machina hot on her heels, charging her way into back into Whitestone.

…

…

Percival slaps her.

He stands there afterwards, beside Delilah Briarwood, and can’t meet Cassandra’s eyes, though she never looks away from his. Vex’ahlia is raging behind her and Cassandra sticks an arm out in a futile attempt to prevent her from jumping forward and making good on her promise to strangle Percival to death with her bare hands.

Cassandra has always known that Vex is protective, she just wasn’t aware that it extended any further beyond Trinket, Vax, and occasionally, Pike or Keyleth.

Cassandra looks up at her brother. He’s scrawny. Leaner than she remembers. Maybe even a little taller. Somewhere near Keyleth’s height, or thereabouts, towering over Cassandra. Over Delilah, whom he stays next to, looking down at the floor.

Delilah steps forward, away from Percival and reaches out towards Cassandra with one finger and Vex’ahlia shoots an arrow at it in an instant, drawing blood.

“The next one will hit your heart,” she warns. Cassandra doesn’t need to turn around to know that her bow is drawn and that Keyleth has fireballs raging in each hand. She hears Grog smack his axe against his palm in warning, Pike slamming at her shield, growls coming from Trinket.

Percy still won’t look at her.

It all happens too quickly, Cassandra has no time at all to stop and parse what she is feeling. It doesn’t matter, in the end. Sylas is dead and Delilah is screaming and Vox Machina are fighting.

Cassandra is losing breath, the life inside of her being squeezed out slowly with Delilah Briarwood’s increasing grief and rage. When Cassandra looks up, she sees Percy, guilt-ridden, holding a gun in his right hand with tears welling up in his eyes. Vex’ahlia and Keyleth’s screams ring out in Cassandra’s ears and then she hears nothing but her big brother’s voice and a gunshot, ringing out through the frigid night.

The squeezing against Cassandra’s throat slips away, and she gasps.

“I’m not your son,” Percy’s voice says, tight and angry. “You killed my family.”

A second gunshot rings out and Cassandra falls limp, her limbs useless as she gasps for air. Keyleth’s strong arms catch her instantly, cradling tight and whispering a healing spell. Cassandra crawls forward, stares down at Delilah and slices her arm off with her rapier, falling back into Keyleth as she watches the woman bleed out from the wounds both de Rolos have now given her.

“Cass,” Percy’s croaks, voice cracking around her name. “I’m sorry.” He tells her like it’s the most important thing he is ever going to say to her. Keyleth holds her tighter, mashing their temples together. Pike crosses her arms and glares up at him ferociously. Scanlan scoffs at his words. Grog kicks Delilah’s body, checking, and staring Percival down as he does so. Vax’ildan watches, careful, passing a dagger back and forth between his palms, waiting to see what Cass wants to do, ready to jump at her signal.

Vex’ahlia walks over to Cassandra’s brother, slaps him, and then hands him a glass of water. “Good shot,” she commends. Then, “touch her again and it won’t be my fist.”

“Vex’ahlia,” Cassandra croaks, voice raw. Keyleth, Vex, and Percy all flinch at the sound. “Leave him be.”

…

…

Orthax spills out of her.

It’s the only way that she knows to describe what happens, after.

A slow chill creeps over her, one that’s been burning and growing for weeks and it explodes, now. Cassandra’s body doesn’t feel wholly her own, but there is something powerful and intoxicating about it, rather than fearful. When she looks at their faces, Vox Machina doesn’t see it that way, they all look horrified, panicked. The smallest part of Cassandra revels in it. Vex’ahlia screams at her to fight it and shadows cling, choking Cassandra. Leaving her cold in a similar way as Delilah’s squeezing finger left her, only this time, it’s Cassandra’s own doing. Her choice. This time, even though she’s terrified, she doesn’t exactly… want it to stop.

It’s why she’s furious after, once Scanlan throws her rapier into a pit of acid and Cassandra _feels_ it burn away into nothing.

Vex’ahlia is looking at her with strained urgency, opening her mouth, to say what, Cassandra doesn’t know. Cassandra knows that her face is flat and distant in return. Vax’ildan grips Vex's hand and Cassandra watches her cheeks burn as she snaps her mouth shut, turning and walking over to sit beside Trinket, knocking her head into his shoulder.

Grog hauls Scanlan up and away from Cassandra’s wrath and Pike shoves her into the dirt and starts prodding around looking for any more signs of corruption.

There isn’t any. Cassandra can feel the emptiness inside of her chest again. Orthax is gone.

For now, at least.

Part of Cassandra mourns, the rest of her is relieved.

…

…

They sit together in silence. Finally, Percival breaks it, mentioning something about Cassandra when she was seven. Something about sneaking into the kitchens with Lu. Something that she cannot remember, but which makes her big brother smile for the first time that she’s seen in going on six years. 

Some days, without reinforcement, she loses things. They fall out of her mind like autumn leaves. Percy watches her face like he knows, like it happens to him, too. His fingers flinch like they want to reach for her, and Cassandra pulls herself away, arms wrapping around her own chest.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” she says.

“Good. Me either.”

“I can’t… I don’t want to stay he—”

“I know,” he says, soft. Softer than she remembers him capable. He was never her favorite sibling and she was never his, and now, they’re the only two left together. Doesn’t seem fair. Cassandra aches for Vesper, for Lu, for her mother. Cassandra knows that he aches for Julius, for Vesper—they all would want Vesper, no matter who ended up left alone.

She sits by Percival, going over documents that make her eyes well up with hot tears until she’s falling asleep sitting up, Keyleth coming in and carrying her off to her bed despite her protests. Percival’s eyes trail after them the entire time.

Vex’ahlia never stops frowning at Percy over the next week or so. Keyleth keeps crawling into Cassandra’s bed at night, claiming a cold room and ending up wrapping her entire body around Cassandra’s, plenty of warmth radiating from her. It takes everything that Cassandra has not to burst into tears again. Sleeping in her old bedroom again, walking through the halls, cold and quiet, and everything smells different. Whitestone isn’t Whitestone anymore. Cassandra hates it here. Her skin feels like it’s going to rip off her body.

Over a week later, Percival shocks Cassandra as he accepts his position on the Council at Whitestone beside Allura and Shaun Gilmore, among others. He never wanted to rule Whitestone that Cassandra can remember. Every single one of them was content with Julius and Vesper leading that charge.

Percy holds her gaze as he makes the announcement, and nods, releasing her of any duties. She walks over and grasps his hand. “I want us to be better,” she whispers.

“Me too,” he gives her a small smile. “We will,” he promises. “Go save the world, Cass. I’ll hold down the fort here.”

Cassandra walks away from Whitestone with Vox Machina still at her side. Orthax is gone, or seemingly. They’ve all seen what she has done. What she still wants to do. The rage that boils inside of her, spilling out of the tip of her rapier, very nearly almost sliding sharply into her own brother.

And they still want her.

 _Family,_ Vex’ahlia says.

 _Maybe,_ Cassandra’s heart beats. _Maybe, but not yet._

…

…

Scanlan keeps trying to get Cassandra to laugh. Vax joins in, and then suddenly an all-out prank war has begun. Grog drops a bucket of water on top of Scanlan’s head. He doesn’t attach it to anything as a surprise, simply picks up a bucket and empties it above Scanlan when he is least suspecting it. Cassandra busts out laughing, harder than she has in ages at the soggy, surprised look on Scanlan’s face and the satisfied one on Grog’s.

Vex and Vax walk into the room to see what all the commotion is, and gape at Cassandra, doubled over with laughter and gasping as Scanlan squelches his way around the room.

“Marvelous Grog,” Vex claps as Scanlan glares up at her. Cassandra is laughing so hard, she only just notices the eyebrow raise that Vex gives to Scanlan, but she’s well aware of the way that he starts hamming it up, squelching louder and louder with each step. Keyleth adds more water, causing Grog to squawk when she drizzles it above him, as well. 

Cassandra can’t remember one of the last times that she felt so light.

When she’s finally caught her breath, and the boys and Keyleth have shuffled off to get dry, Vex’ahlia saunters over towards her. Cassandra gets that fluttery feeling inside her gut again, impossibly annoying and highly impractical. She deflects by offering up new inventions for arrows, delighting in the way that Vex’ahlia’s eyes light up. Percival was always more of a tinkerer than Cassandra ever was, but she’s picked up a thing or two over the years, both by necessity and as a means to keep sane. 

Now, it might come with another reason: Vex’ahlia’s excited smile.

…

…

Dragons attack Emon.

The world feels like it’s falling into abject chaos. Cassandra hears screams surrounding her, reminiscent of when the Briarwoods arrived at Whitestone. Cassandra looks around her and sees the panicked faces of Vox Machina staring back at her.

“Wait,” Vex’ahlia calls out. “Not yet, Keyleth!” she panics, staring up at Greyskull Keep.

“We’ll be back,” Cassandra says, pressing a light hand to the small of Vex’ahlia’s back.

“I just… this is the first time we’ve had a home in forever. And we’re leaving it…” she raises her hands up to her mouth, looking up at the place while Keyleth hesitates near the tree. “No,” Vex breathes. “We can go. It’s nothing, it’s nothing. It’s just stone.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself of the words.

“It will be built back better than before. That’s what we do,” Cassandra says, fierce. She doesn't know if she believes her own words, or just desperately wants Vex'ahlia to. 

Vex’ahlia meets her eye, nodding slowly. “Okay,” she says, and takes Keyleth’s hand.

 _My family,_ Cassandra’s heart beats. _This can’t happen to my family again._ Everyone grabs hold of Keyleth, and they run for Cass's old home.

…

…

The next few days are tumultuous and confusing, jumping from one thing to the next to check on allies and try and form some sort of plan. The twins find out that Thordak was the same dragon that was responsible for their mother’s death, and Cassandra starts watching Vex like a hawk. Keyleth feels responsible for the dragons—because she thinks that she is responsible for everything—though Allura assures her again and again that it is not so, she’s grieving a quarter of her people and barely listening.

Cassandra is the one to crawl her way into Keyleth’s bed this time, claiming cold temperatures in order to check on the girl who has probably become the best friend that she has ever had to date. Despite their differences in approaching the world.

Vex’ahlia finds them in the morning, knocking and not bothering to wait for an answer as she lets herself into Keyleth’s room. She jerks in surprise at the sight of them cuddled together, rubbing at their eyes and blinking up at her.

“Vex?” Keyleth croaks, throat full of sleep. “What’s wrong?”

“I… nothing,” Vex says, quick-like. Her voice does that tight thing when she’s trying not to let anyone know that something has affected her. Her smile goes fixed and stiff, but doesn’t slip. Keyleth doesn’t seem to pick up on anything amiss and now that Vex has assured them that there isn’t imminent danger approaching, she rolls over, flopping on top of Cassandra in order to slowly crawl out of the bed and mess her hair up just because she can. Easy and natural with her affections.

“Is breakfast chickens again?” Keyleth asks, once she stands up and stretches.

“Yes,” Vex says, staring between them. “There’s coffee too.”

“Oh, great,” Keyleth says, pulling a shift on over her head and flouncing past Vex.

“Morning,” Cassandra says. Vex is still just standing there and staring at her from the doorway.

“Good morning,” Vex echoes, stilled. “You know that she’s basically in love with my brother, right?”

“What?” Cassandra asks, utterly confused.

“Keyleth,” Vex snaps, the anger in her voice growing. “And my brother. They have a whole ridiculous… _thing_ going on.”

“I… know that?” Cassandra says, pushing off of the bed and grabbing for a shift of her own. Vex’ahlia’s eyes trail down her body briefly as she tugs it over her head and when Cassandra looks up and meets her eye again, Vex’s lips are pressed tight and she looks like she’s trying to fold into herself. Cassandra has seen her do this a few times in the last month or so. It’s one of those things at the back of her mind that she has no idea how to deal with.

“Wonderful,” Vex’ahlia says through her teeth and disappears down the hall.

“Bloody hell,” Cassandra mutters and follows.

…

…

Vex dies.

Cassandra stands there looking on in horror. Vax is screaming, Keyleth is crying, Trinket is whimpering, and Cassandra is the reason for it all. She grabbed for the loot without thought, and now _Vex’ahlia is—_

Cass cannot breathe.

Kashaw jumps into action after some prodding. He beings performing the ritual and Cassandra stands, hovering and shaking and _begging, pleading,_ with every god and entity that she can think of, though she doesn’t believe to _please, please bring her back._

Vax, of course, offers up his own life in place of his sister’s.

Cassandra is only seconds away from joining him when Vex’ahlia gasps back to life. It’s the sweetest bit of relief that Cassandra can ever remember, and her knees give out completely. Guilt overwhelming as she backs away from the twins, holding herself apart.

Keyleth looks nearly as rattled as Cassandra feels, and she chases after Vex and hollers at her for being careless and clings to her tightly, telling her how much she cares and cannot lose her, either; Vax already throws himself into danger too recklessly. Cass watches Vex's shoulders tense and then her arms snake tightly around Keyleth in response. Her voice whispering low reassurances. Cassandra turns and leaves them to it, giving them privacy. 

Keyleth comes and finds Cassandra, afterward. She wraps herself around Cassandra and cries, and reassures her through her own tears that somehow, this is all going to turn out okay, though she does not know _how_ yet. Cassandra sits there stiffly, silent. Her emotions are always there, simmering underneath the surface. She hardly ever lets them show, if she can avoid it. It’s a fight Cassandra knows that she will never win, though she tries, regardless. Everything that Cass feels, she feels _strongly_. Right now, she feels anger—at herself, at the world and everything in it—hurt, betrayal.

Longing.

She avoids being alone with Vex’ahlia for days. Apologizes profusely, makes her a new arrow, allows Vax’s wrath without defending herself, and keeps herself apart from them all, Vex especially.

It pisses the half-elf off, clearly, but Cassandra doesn’t trust herself.

…

…

Vex steals a goddamn broom.

And then she falls from it, terrifying Cassandra and making her heart jump up into her throat. She can’t avoid her anymore, Vex isn’t having it, so Cassandra takes the broom and offers to make some adjustments. She works on it for days, creating straps and grips for her feet so that she’ll be able to balance, shoot an arrow, and not fall to her death.

Again.

Vex _beams_ when Cassandra gives it to her. Reaching over and hauling Cassandra to her and kissing her cheek, close to her mouth. Too close. Cassandra inhales more sharply than she intends, and Vex hears her, shivering in response. Cassandra jumps out of her grasp, trying to laugh it off and follow Grog, but she can feel Vex’s eyes boring into her as she goes.

…

…

The problem, of course, is that Vex’ahlia is _stunning._

Not just physically—though Cassandra is attracted to her in a way that feels almost painful, sometimes—but everything about her. The way that she hoards money makes Cassandra smile, fond, in a way that it makes Vax roll his eyes. The way that she flirts shamelessly with everyone, building strangers up and leaving them warm after she’s gone—leaving Cassandra flushed and hot and embarrassed after their every interaction. Leaving her feel _wanted_ in a way that no one else has ever managed before. The way that she cares for Trinket, for small creatures and children, though she insists that’s Keyleth and Keyleth alone, acting as if she is above it all—anyone who is paying a modicum of attention can see that she’s lying through her teeth. Cassandra adores all of it and more.

She adores _Vex,_ and it’s eating her alive.

Because Vex flirts with everyone, not just Cassandra. Cassandra felt hollowed out when Vex died, but Vex has all but laughed it off, just as reckless as before. Saying idiotic things like _I’m learning to seize all the opportunities that life gives me,_ with a pointed look to her eye that Casandra can’t decipher. Vex doesn’t feel the same way that Cassandra does—she can’t. Cassandra is too young and too broken and too _wrong._ She’s a lost little girl scrambling, making deals with devils and unable to imagine any sort of normal looking future. Cassandra is all sharp edges and claws, prickly and pompous and separate, always, from everyone else no matter if she is trying to be or not. She is always going to be that way. Maybe she wouldn’t have been, had the Briarwoods not robbed her of her family and her childhood, but she is that way _now,_ and there is nothing that she can do about it.

She’s not sure if there is something that she _wants_ to do about it, even if she could.

Vex’ahlia sits down beside Cassandra, chewing a piece of chicken and complaining about it. Cassandra reaches up, noticing a small piece stuck at the corner of her lip. She doesn’t know why she does it, instead of just _saying_ it is there, but now, her finger is resting against Vex’ahlia’s lips, and she can’t seem to bring herself to move it. The two of them just sit there, staring at each other with surprised alarm, and Vex’ahlia looks… contemplative, eager in a way that makes Cassandra shiver. Cassandra drags her finger along Vex’ahlia’s lips, touching them in a decidedly not-platonic way, and she feels her body lurch forward of its own accord, reckless, yearning—

Cassandra jerks back, knocking her elbow into the table and then nearly falling to the ground. Vex’ahlia looks aghast as she watches and Cassandra’s gut swells with shame and panic, both of them clearing their throats as Cassandra suddenly becomes fascinated by the breakfast table.

“Cassandra—” Vex starts, hand stretching towards Cass.

“I promised Grog we’d spar,” she says, cutting Vex off and jerking upright. Vex opens her mouth to say something else and Cassandra runs from the room. A coward. 

Grog is confused when she walks up and whacks him, but he’s all too happy to spar. Cassandra comes limping back up the stairs hours later, bruised and embarrassed as she collapses into her bed.

…

…

Cassandra cannot avoid Vex’ahlia forever. In truth, she doesn’t want to. She wants the exact opposite of that. Cassandra just needs to control her emotions and focus on the tasks at hand. They have vestiges to find and dragons to slay. World ending problems that have nothing to do with the way that the sun hits Vex’ahlia’s hair just right or the little crinkle by her left eye when she smiles, or the way that Cassandra aches to kiss her.

Vex finds Cassandra alone before a mission. Cassandra watches everything she does, now, so she had noticed the way that she had frozen at the mention of the city Syngorn. She saw the quick look Vex had shot towards her brother, watched the frown dip onto his already brooding face. It’s not surprising, to find Vex now, pacing anxiously and fussing with her clothes and hair. She looks up and catches Cassandra’s eye, sighing and walking over.

“You come from money, right. Do I look like I come from money?” she asks, tugging at her hair.

Cassandra looks her up and down. Swallowing back thoughts and emotions that aren’t going to be helpful to either of them right now and says, “Honestly, you’re too happy to look like you come from money.”

Vex’ahlia laughs, releasing tension in her shoulders. It’s half a cry, and she swipes at her eyes, annoyed with herself and her tears. “I don’t believe that.”

“A sure sign of it is abject misery,” Cass counters. “Believe me, I can speak to it. You look too much like you and you don’t look like something you’re supposed to be.” Cassandra watches Vex look down, tugging again at her clothes. She hates this. She hates how not like herself Vex’ahlia looks, standing there nervous and unsure, rather than bold and bright. “Does this have something to do with that city we’re off to? It does, doesn’t it? Who’s there?”

“Well, you know, everyone. My father, for one.” Vex swipes at her eyes again. “We were judged growing up. I… I don’t look forward to seeing that again.” There are tears forming in her eyes as she smooths down her hair again, trying to cover her ears self-consciously.

“I’ve known a lot of people with money,” Cassandra says, after a beat. Fiercely, she says, “And they are definitely not worth you.”

Vex’ahlia releases a bitter quiet laugh and tugs at her shirt again. “Will you stay at my side when we’re there?”

Sometimes, when Vex'ahlia looks at her like this, Cassandra can almost imagine an illusion of a future, the kind she won’t allow herself to even dream about. But when she _does,_ when her mind betrays her, it usually looks something like this. Vex’ahlia sitting beside her, their knees brushing as they look out at the forest. The sounds of Vox Machina bickering and joking off somewhere in the near distance behind them. Whenever she indulges and imagines it further beyond that, they’re always in the kitchens in Whitestone, Trinket running through the courtyard, visible from the window above the sink. Vex’ahlia sitting up on the counter, sneaking bites, and nudging Cassandra with one foot while she attempts to cook. _Maybe,_ in her absolute weakest moments, there is a little boy or girl tangling between Cassandra’s legs, or beaming up at her from Vex’ahlia’s lap with a dimpled smile that looks a bit like Whitney, or Vesper, if she squints. Whitestone again belonging to Cassandra’s family, to them, and the smells the way it used to. Smells like home.

Vex’ahlia shakes her head beside her now, clearing away the last remains of her tears, waiting for Cassandra to give her an answer. She looks worried it will be a no. Cassandra cannot imagine how Vex would ever think that. She takes a shaky breath, banishes traitorous thoughts from her heart, and says, “Yes, of course.” Vex’ahlia breathes out in relief, nodding and giving her a watery smile. “And don’t think of changing your outfit,” Cassandra continues. “You look marvelous. You look like you.” She looks Vex up and down, smiles at the ridiculous hat Scanlan adorned her with and adds, “keep the hat.”

Vex’ahlia laughs, a crack of relief and tension seeping out of her shoulders as she rises. “Alright,” she says, posing with the hat dramatically. She holds out a hand and hauls Cassandra up from the ground as Vax and Keyleth walk towards them. The same anxiety that lingers around Vex is wafting off her brother and Cassandra watches the twins lock eyes, pull faces, and then saunter forward together. Keyleth and Cassandra half a beat behind, wary and watchful.

Syldor Vessar is about exactly as Cassandra would have pictured him. He looks a bit like the twins, but has none of their open charms. The little girl, Velora, however, causes both twins to brighten, Vex’ahlia beaming in a way that she hasn’t in days. Cassandra likes the child instantly.

The minute that she runs out of the room, her mother trailing behind, the mood shifts. Cassandra watches Vex carefully and the moment that she watches her eyes fall at her father’s words, Cassandra decides not to sit there silently anymore. She never was one for that, anyway.

She reaches over—politely—and takes the guest list that Syldor is referring to. She inspects it, mostly for show, a dash of curiosity. Vox Machina all watch her, confused but used to Cass’s antics in these sorts of situations by now.

“So, this grants an audience for all of us, then?” she asks, as posh as Oliver could be on his best days.

“Yes,” Syldor says.

“You’re going to have to amend that one name though,” she says, passing it back and pointing towards Vex’ahlia’s name. “Just to be fair,” she doesn’t pause, looks up, stares Syldor down and says, “it’s Lady Vex’ahlia.”

Syldor hesitates, a confused frown etching onto his face. Vox Machina shuffles around her, unsure and waiting to understand. “Lady?”

Cassandra pulls herself up to her full—admittedly unimpressive—height, shoulders back, voice biting, every inch an echo of Oliver as he curses out someone with a thin-lipped smile. “Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt,” she says, pulling a smirk. Beside her, everyone reacts. Vex’ahlia’s mouth drops open in a surprised gape, Keyleth’s eyes widen as she punches Vax’s arm. Cassandra doesn’t take her gaze away from Syldor once. “So, good sir, despite your relationship with her, do watch your manners,” she says, clipped. Her brother would be so proud. 

Syldor’s mouth pinches and he sucks in a breath. “My apologies, Lady Vex’ahlia,” he says, nodding towards his daughter.

“Well, you didn’t know,” she responds, trying to match Cassandra’s tone and falling just a bit short. It’s impressive regardless and when Cassandra sneaks a look out of the corner of her eye, Vex’ahlia is glowing.

…

…

“My heart is someone else’s,” Vex’ahlia says, low and firm.

Cassandra bites at the inside of her lip—hard. Saundor frowns and though Cassandra _hates him,_ finds him despicable, and would love nothing more than to drive her rapier through his gut, she knows how he feels, at this moment. She wonders to whom Vex is referring. She hates them even more than Saundor.

Vex’ahlia had twisted uncomfortably when he began to talk, a few moments ago. Cassandra watched and listened and fumed as Vex folded into herself the longer that he spoke.

“You all come here, but one of you is the reason. You… sweet, broken Vex'ahlia. Unwanted daughter, unproven ally, selfish and cruel—you drive those you would call family into danger and death for your own gain. I understand you. You are lost, without form, without knowing who you are, child. You stand shattered by expectation, presenting an illusion of confidence.Behind it, you never left that bloodied girl, dagger in hand, body at your feet. You are a killer, run as you may. The tears you cry are not in vain, my sweet… my dear Vex'ahlia. You can rise above your trembling destiny. I have lived a thousand years and a day. I have seen many things; I can grant many gifts.”

Vex’ahlia had leaned forward, just a tick.

“I will give you the means to protect them… your home…”

“And what would you ask in return?” she asks, knowing there is always a catch.

“Your heart.”

Vex’ahlia leans forward. “My heart is someone else's.” She draws her bow, and then fires.

Cassandra doesn’t have much time to consider her words, because then they are all fighting. Vex goes down and she screams, Grog jumping in between Saundor and Vex and chastising him. Which is impressive, coming from Grog. He throws his javelin at Saundor and then Cassandra breathes a sigh of relief once his eyes finally shut for good. She runs over towards Vex’ahlia with Vax, _my heart is someone else’s_ thrumming inside her chest.

…

…

_Ripley._

Cassandra sees red. They rent an airship, follow her trail, and get smacked around by an air elemental. Cassandra hisses as she tries to pry some errant glass out of her face, Vex’ahlia bending down and cupping the sides of her face gently, casting cure wounds with the brush of her thumb.

“You alright, darling?” she asks.

“Peachy,” Cass drawls. Vex’s hands haven’t left her face, yet. Cassandra certainly isn’t going to bring her attention to the matter. It becomes moot anyway, Vax scouts the skies and finds Ripley and some goons she’s hired. They all fan out, stealthily walking through the jungle, Vex’ahlia’s hands no longer holding onto Cassandra.

She stays directly by her side, though. At least until Ripley attacks and all hell breaks loose.

Things happen quickly. Cassandra runs and throws daggers, slices with her rapier, picks up a gun and shoots bullets at the woman who tortured her and ruined her life. She goes unconscious—twice. A mixture of Scanlan and Keyleth's help and chugging healing potions until she’s spent and shaking, her whole body exhausted beyond belief and nothing in her sights but Ripley’s angry face ahead of her and Vox Machina surrounding her sides. Fighting to the death with everything they have—for Cassandra.

Cassandra takes a bullet to the chest, and then another. She stares down Ripley, trying, _trying_ to keep her eyes open. She can hear Vex’ahlia screaming from somewhere above her and she is so, so tired. She has tried for years to stay alive long enough to finish this. Ripley is bleeding, too. Vox Machina are here. Cassandra is sure, that if she closes her eyes, they will finish it for her.

She can go back home, now. She can stop. 

Ripley holds a gun at Cassandra and fires, someone screams, absolute agony echoing into the night, and Cassandra dies. Somewhere, she swears that she can hear music playing.

…

…

The very next thing that Cassandra can sense is tiny hands smacking and poking her in the face. She does not open her eyes, but she reaches over and slaps Scanlan in the face.

“She’s alive!” someone yells. Cassandra gasps and then she hears a chorus of voices surrounding her, her entire body responds embarrassingly when she hears Vex mutter, low, “welcome home.”

“Where are we?” Cass asks.

 _Ripley is dead. We’re home. Whitestone._ Cassandra starts dragging her body upright and blinking, renewed energy until Vex mentions Percy.

“Oh god,” Cassandra groans. “I’m going to lie back down.”

Percy slams into the room. “Where is she? Is she alright?”

“I’m going to throw up,” Cass groans. Vex’s palms are still on her shoulders.

“Oh,” Percy pauses. “She’s alright. You scared me. I thought she was—”

“Everything’s alright, dear,” Vex assures Percy. He walks over, cautious. Aware that something isn’t quite what it seems. Cassandra certainly isn’t about to tell her big brother that she died at the hands of the woman who helped murder the rest of their siblings.

Percy crouches down beside Cassandra and Vex. He hesitates for a moment, then reaches up and brushes some of her hair—the stark white bits, matching his—out of her eyes. “You need to stop getting into so much trouble, Cass,” he admonishes.

“Just a few more dragons,” she promises with a laugh.

Percy looks around, sees the tears in Vex’ahlia and Keyleth’s eyes, all the materials around Pike, he’s smart, he’s piecing together what happened at the same time as Cassandra. Percy looks back down and slaps Cass’s cheek, just hard enough to sting a little. “Get some food in you and stop being so bloody useless,” he says, and then presses an awkward kiss to her temple before leaving the room as quickly as he had come in.

Cass flops back down. “I’m tired. Everyone should have just slapped me while I was out. How long was I out?”

“Who says we didn’t?” Vex says, just shy of sharp. Then, her voice goes raw. “A day.”

“Only that long, then?” Cass jokes. It doesn’t land. Everyone looks at her somberly, except maybe Scanlan and Grog, who are starting to perk up now that Cass’s eyes are open and she’s moving around. Keyleth is hovering, pressing her palms together and working at her bottom lip and Cass looks up and catches her eye. “Thank you for what you did,” she says.

“You remember?” Vex croaks.

“Just that,” Cass lies. “I just… I was cold and he was there and then I saw your hand,” she smiles at Keyleth. “Thank you.”

“Is Orthax gone, then?” Vex asks.

Cassandra doesn’t add, _I saw Keyleth’s hand and I heard your voice._ She doesn’t know how to react to Vex’ahlia’s words. Her head is pounding, it’s very possible that she wanted this so badly that she imagined it with her death. She’s not about to say something now and ruin everything. She sits up straight and swallows. “I don’t feel him anymore,” she says. “Not since Keyleth. Gods, I’m tired.”

“You need to sleep,” Pike says.

“Yes, probably,” Cass agrees. Keyleth and Vex support her as they walk up into Whitestone and to Cassandra’s quarters. She flops down onto the bed with a grunt. She _died_ today. Yesterday. Time is very strange.

Ripley is gone and Cassandra is alive and Whitestone is _theirs._ Vex gives Cass a long, complicated look as she walks out of the room and Cassandra falls soundly asleep.

…

…

Dying doesn’t allow for anything to slow down. Raishan has infiltrated Whitestone, they still have dragons to slay, and Vex’ahlia is acting very strangely. It’s possible that she _did_ say what Cassandra thought she had.

_I should have told you, it’s yours._

But that can’t be. Can it?

Cassandra is too much of a coward to ask. Vex’ahlia avoids her, is awkward whenever they spend any time together alone, and Cassandra feels like she is crawling out of her skin with want. She _died._ Unsurprisingly, it makes her feel… alive. Unrestrained. Brave.

They survive a fight and slay Vorugal, and Vex’ahlia stammers beside her, talking about forgiveness and unable to stop her eyes from flickering down to Cassandra’s lips and she—

She holds her breath tight inside of her as she takes another step closer to Vex. She places her body inches from Vex’s, gathers up every bit of courage she can muster and kisses her.

It sets her whole body on fire. It’s everything Cassandra ever imagined kissing Vex’ahlia would be, apart from the small groan of surprise that slips out of Vex's mouth. Every bit of cowardice comes crashing back down the second that they pull away from each other for air, and Cassandra smiles, shaky and says, “We’ll talk later.” Then she turns and walks away.

Quickly.

…

…

The next day and a half is pure agony.

Vex’ahlia goes around pretending that nothing happened while simultaneously making it _very clear_ that something happened. Cassandra feels like she is crawling out of her skin for entirely different reasons than she has been dealing with for the last few months. Keyleth keeps frowning at her all through breakfast—chickens, again—and poking at her side, asking what’s wrong. Cassandra doesn’t know how to say the words, _I think that I’m in love with Vex and I don’t know if she loves me back,_ even though she knows that of any of them, Keyleth would be the one to understand; she went through something similar with Vax. They’ve only recently settled into something that seems calm and easy and good for them both. It was months of awkwardness before that. Cassandra can’t feel like this for months. She can’t do this for another _day._

Vesper would just walk up and confront her feelings head-on. Cassandra channels everything that she can remember of her sister, grabs as many bottles of alcohol that she can fit into her arms, and goes to Vex’s room in the mansion.

“Is this our later talk?” she calls out, through the door.

“Um… not really,” Cassandra says, unsure; it sounds like a question. She feels like she might throw up. That wouldn’t help her argument or be attractive at all.

Vex’ahlia opens her bedroom door and Cass promptly drops all of the bottles from her arms. She’s naked. Absolutely stark fucking naked and smirking at Cassandra. “Did you want to talk before, or after?” she drawls, every inch brimming with confidence. 

Cassandra’s mouth feels like cotton. She doesn’t know if she can move her limbs, but as she stares up at the cocky smirk that is beaming back down at her, she desperately wants to. Cass locks eyes with Vex and feels a twinge of desire pluck at her belly, as distinct and painful as the snap of an elastic band against her skin. “I — later,” she croaks and Vex’ahlia _glows._

Cassandra lurches forward at the same time as Vex reaches out, using the collar on her shirt to yank her roughly inside and kiss her desperately. Vex’ahlia twists them, kicking the door shut with her foot. Cassandra stumbles backward until Vex’ahlia has her pinned to the bed, straddling Cass, pressing her hands up above her head and kissing her fiercely, with just as much desperation as Cassandra feels. “Thank the _gods,_ ” Vex gasps into the kiss, letting out a little whine as Cass grinds her hips up towards her. Cassandra groans, writhing underneath Vex and trying to wriggle her hands free to move and cup Vex’ahlia’s face. It’s not fair that she is still fully clothed and she can’t do anything about it.

After a moment, they pull apart, and Cassandra can only gaze up at Vex. She just… stares and admires the flushed tint to her face and the way that her eyes seem to gleam as she watches Cassandra. “I’ve wanted to do this… for so long,” Vex’ahlia whispers.

“Me too,” Cassandra admits.

Vex immediately moves to start tugging off her clothes and Cass wastes no time at all jumping to help. She’s craved this for so long that every touch between them feels amplified, her skin excruciatingly sensitive to Vex’ahlia in a way that she’s never felt before and her heart keeps beating faster with every kiss. Cassandra lifts her torso up and kisses her again, her lips slowly dragging their way down Vex’s neck the second that she gets her shift over her head. There is quite a bit of maneuvering before Vex gets Cassandra out of her skirts, but then she is straddling her again in seconds, mouth dipping low towards Cass’s nipple and Cass wines against her mouth, desperate for more.

Vex moves lower and Cass hisses as Vex’s mouth finds her clit. She has Cass arching her back and crying out in minutes, gasping for breath and spent as Vex’ahlia crawls back up to her mouth, a brilliant smirk on her face. Cassandra takes a few calming breaths, then quickly flips them before Vex can settle, laughing brightly at the delighted and surprised yell she emits in response.

She has Vex’ahlia yelling for a different reason, a few moments later.

When they finally exhaust each other, they settle in each other’s arms, Cassandra tucked into the crook of Vex’ahlia’s elbow with her cheek pressed to her bare chest. Vex is humming happily, the motions gently lifting Cassandra’s head up and down, almost rocking her to sleep. She throws her arms around Vex’s chest and rubs small circles on the edge of her thigh, causing Vex to hitch her breath and pause the humming for a beat.

“Is _this_ later?” she mumbles.

“I suppose so,” Cassandra relents. “What would you like to talk about?”

“ _You_ said we’d talk later, I assumed that you’d have something prepared.”

So it’s going to be like this, then. Cassandra should have expected nothing less. She shouldn’t be frightened, Vex’ahlia just proved (multiple times) that she is attracted to Cassandra as well. Her main fear, is the feelings behind it.

_I should have told you, it’s yours._

Cassandra sucks in a breath. In another life, maybe she would be too frightened to say anything to Vex, just yet. Maybe she would need more time, to be sure that Vex feels the same way. To slay another dragon, or two. But now, she is thrumming with all of her pent-up feelings and she’s afraid that she is going to burst.

“I heard you,” she whispers.

Vex goes absolutely still.

“I lied,” she admits. “I saw Keyleth’s hand. But… I also heard your voice. I was afraid that I had wanted it so badly that I imagined it.”

Vex tugs on her, pulling until Cassandra’s face is hovering above her own and she holds eye contact as she says, “You didn’t. I meant every word.”

Cassandra beams. There is still Raishan to fight. A world to save. Whitestone and Percy to go home to, eventually. But now, they have moments like this, when Cassandra can almost taste her future. Vex’ahlia curled beside her, their knees brushing as they cling to each other, not wanting any inch of themselves to part. The sounds of Vox Machina bickering and joking off somewhere in the mansion. Though she’s terrified of what will happen with Raishan, how they will come out of it alive, what it will do to Keyleth, what happens afterward, at this moment, she’s confident somehow it will come out alright. She can almost see it, the two of them in kitchens at Whitestone, Trinket running through the courtyard, visible from the window above the sink. Percy, tinkering with something in the den. Vox Machina popping in and out, always no more than a word or two away. Vex’ahlia sitting up on the counter, sneaking bites, and nudging Cassandra with one foot while she attempts to cook. _Maybe,_ someday, there is a little boy or girl tangling between Cassandra’s legs, or beaming up at her from Vex’ahlia’s lap with a dimpled smile that looks a bit like Whitney, or Vesper, if she squints. Whitestone again belonging to Cassandra’s family, to them, and the smells the way it used to. Smells like home.

Cassandra curls closer into Vex’ahlia’s arms. For now, she doesn’t want to think about the future, she wants nothing more than to remain in this moment for as long as possible. “Mine is yours, too,” she whispers back. The sight of Vex’ahlia’s brilliantly satisfied smile is the last thing that Cassandra sees before falling into slumber.


End file.
